Excellent... been waiting for this one
I've got a few points to add here, Asmo. But just bear in mind I'm being very nit picky...
If you were to completely ignore all of my advice, I don't think it would make a difference as far as a review score goes. (Apart from the small outro bugs
)
However, these are just a few things that jumped out at me:
Overview- If you wanted to spice up your overview a bit, you could use more active verbs.
If you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, compare these two sentences:
"
We must do it now, before the enemy..."
"
We must strike now, before the enemy..."
The second one uses the verb
strike. It's a subtle way of making the mission description more enticing...[/list]
Intro- When it starts, the chopper bobs up then down as it comes up to speed. That in itself isn't too bad (you could have the screen completely black for 2 seconds to get rid of it), but the camera follows it which looks a little odd.
It's very easy to fix this. Your first camtarget line, use:
cam camsettarget (getpos
heli)
This means that the camera will point at the position the chopper starts in, and not follow it as it bobs up. Then, maybe about 2 seconds later, get the camera to target the chopper
- At the end you use a titlecut fadeout, with text in it. This text will stay on screen for 12 seconds, the problem being that the intro will not end until that text fades. This means the player is looking at that sentence for about 8 seconds (when it only takes about 3 or 4 to read ).
To fix this, try using
titletext to display the text (as it doesn't clear off screen when titlecut is used), and then remove the titletext ( titletext ["","PLAIN"]) once you've faded the screen to black and allowed a few seconds for the player to read it.
This just means that text won't sit on a black screen for a long, long time
[/list]
Briefing- The notes section. It's three pages, which is fine. However the last page doesn't have much text on it.
I suggest paragraphing (eg. spacing) your text out more. This will spread the text over the 3 pages (since you use that many anyway), not only making it easier to read, but filling up the third page more so it doesn't look quite so blank
[/list]
Mission- Radio calls... with the good music options, Puma's call, and the savegame there are too many radio calls.
The danger is, the player might try to play some Acca Dacca, push the wrong button and end up sending Puma to their death.
I suggest having a "CD player" radio call, which opens up another radio page with your song options in there. It would tidy up the radio calls, minimising any misunderstandings the player might have while trying to sort them all out under fire
- HQ's callsign was Charlie Black 1 or something
I suggest checking out toadlife's snippet on custom callsigns. You can change that to Papa Bear, or HQ, or whatever you want it really
- Good to see you fixed the call to Puma...
I didn't use Puma, and last version I still got a call telling them to get out (even though I never told them to get in ;D).
I ran around the whole base planting bombs, then ran out and ended up setting off 13 (!!! ;D) pipebombs, and blowing the whole base sky high...
My debrief is attached, if you're interested to see how many points 13 pipebombs get's ya
- Again, the titletext thing was there...
OutrosI had a look at both outros, which were quite well done. The win one was nice, with some poor sod getting a masterkey round at pretty much point blank range... ouchie
The loose one was also nice, though the smoke (chemicals ;D) and explosions right at the end really stressed my PC...
The one major problem was the fact that they didn't end... I couldn't even escape out of them for some reason! It faded to black with the words on the screen, and sat there.
This happened in both of the outros...
Anyway, good stuff, fulla. Very enjoyable mission, which has been polished up very nicely.
Throw in some custom sounds and the sky is the limit for this baby
Topic: (Review Completed) [SP] Chemical Warfare (BAS D/R) (Read 28395 times)