I think it's a great story, not my interest, but I look for word qualities. You should read that book from Gary Provost "Make every word count" its real good.
I'm doing the same thing as you. Not a jurnel though. And I'm 15 in college so I don' got much time to do it, but this is what I got as well:
I remember, one night I was lying in bed, it was 10:20pm and I was looking up at the dark white ceiling, thinking about things as usual. But as my eyes adjusted to the dark, I noticed the bright, ghostly light coming in through the window. So, out of curiosity, I leaned over to the other side of my bed and gazed up at the moon through the window.
It was an extremely frosty night, and as bright as the moon was, the frost obscured all outlines of the landscape and made the moon corona glow for miles.
It was hovering on top of the hill that rose up from the river bed. I couldn't see that of course. In fact, I couldn't see even the dark silhouette of the hill; it was all a dark white.
The only features I could see were the tops of the pine trees here and there that were planted on the hill. But even those, were very faint.
The only things I could see were the two Willows', and they weren't far from my bed side window.
Then my eyes dropped down. I noticed the balcony fence, also, a dark white. It looked very simple.
My eyes dropped further and the CD I was listening to on my headphones changed track to a really nice, sad song. It sounded like a game I used to play, Final Fantasy IV.
The outside balcony floor is black, but what caught my eye were beautiful, silver puddles made by the rain earlier on that day. They just sat there, very still, so still that it looked unearthly. It was eerie, in a way; I could see the areas where the moons light reflected off the smooth puddles, but where the reflection had not hit, where it was black, well, it didn't look black at all. It wasâ€¦â€¦"unexplainable."
I lay there, listening to the song and feeling sad for no reason.
I lay there for a long time until my head and neck started to ache. But I didn't dare look away; this was a very special moment.
I kept staring until I fell asleep and instantly started dreaming.
It was the dream that I had a few time before. It was the waves. I was at a beach and the sky was a dark blue and the sea was green, an absurd green, and the sun was pink. I was sitting there with mum, I never looked at her but I knew she was mum. The beach was just an endless, straight white line getting smaller and smaller. Five yards from the lapping sea was a very steep elevation of sand also going along the endless beach.
So, naturally, I went to jump up and down the "Cliff." As I got closer, the beach sounded louder too. It had a more "Booming" quality in it than a "Swoosh." But as I was dreaming, I didn't care.
I got closer until I reached the endless cliff of sand. I walked further still and dropped down it so I landed sitting down on the cold sand. The waves still had a loud boom that kept coming every now and then.
But just then, A massive wave rose up over me and my heart felt like it was getting smaller with fear. I kept rising and the sound kept getting louder, but then the wave stopped in mid air, but the booming kept carrying on. Everything started to get darker and darker until it was all black. But this time, the booming only got louder, and louder.
Then, I woke upâ€¦â€¦..
That's just the prolouge. I'm makin it into a campaign, where your a Resistance fighter agains't indonesians.
Anhoo, the words are good enough to make a book outt of