(Review Completed) [SP] Red Tide

[Pilot]

Hi all, this is my first proper mission, and I have tried hard to make it work right.

From the overview: You are the commander of the Central Invasion Group in Red Tide, a three-pronged amphibious landing to take the eastern shore of Everon.

I realize I'm not going to get points for originality, but I do hope the mission is enjoyable, and functions correctly.  I have done a lot of testing on this mission, and everything seems to work.  Please post any bugs, suggestions, or criticisms.  Also, I would like to know what the beta-testers think of the difficuly of this mission; whether it is too hard, too easy, or fine the way it is.

Edit: Red Tide has been reviewed and is available, with required addons, from the Missions Depot.
Made in V1.96
Size of Zip: 371KB 358 kB
To download, right-click and select "Save Target as".

Features:
Intro and Outro
Overview with picture
Briefing
Weapon Selection
Accurate (I think) skill levels of team members
The option to surrender when half of you squad has been killed

Known Bugs/Issues:
No text for the loose debriefing
No custom sound

Addons Required:
General Barron's Editor Update - (Available from OFPEC)
http://www.atwar.net/download.php?view.3523
Author: General Barron
Size: 74KB

[Mikero]

thumbs up from me.

Good to great intro, in fact, in the best category as far as storyline is concerned. I think it WELL worth pointing out to anyone interested. 1 4 9 K
You're probably apologetic it's that big !!!!

Niggles small and large:

"But they were wrong"

get rid of "But". It's an ironic , well paused statement in it's own fade in.

I wont be vitriolic about your use of yeardate. Get rid of it, stupid. Try subtletly, you've already mentioned Cuba, let us do some thinking for ourselves. If you doubt me, ask yourself why yeardates almost -to -never appear in a mission, not ever. It must be because they don't know howto right?

Excellent choice of limited range of music. Most suitable for this mission.

Rain, kickoff, perfect. I immediately knew what i was in for, no need to brief me. Visually, the rain effect was superb. (again, for *this* mission)

I liked the subtlety of NOT ejecting from a boat. There they were, there I was, I needed no more. BUT, others, unfamiliar with map *might* have needed the orientation visual of coming in to land. I preferred it as was, others might justifiably criticise.

My name was too long. I didn't realise I was leader, the splat arrow was hidden.

My squad were refreshingly accurate. I asked them to hit things at a distance, and surprise surprise, they did.

I spent a LONG time being commander not super grunt. This mission made me use different attack formations at variouis stages, I dared not savegame on the basis the soldier i just lost would be too important later, this is good stuff.

The hordes pouring down mountains, and every other splot were just right for me. I really had to look after my people. A nice change, since they responded so well. The ammo was 'just right', not anywhere near enough, which is perfect. Because of my comments above, I dunno if I could have selected more machine gun, don't allow it. Make me earn my rank.

The timing and the direction of the re-inforcing hordes all made sense to me. Particularly the timing, well done on that.

Surrender:

the hell I will, but i tried <> No cutscene visible, just a stall of some sort. Fix it please. Very novel for me. I liked it. What a start to a campaign, different end)ing triggers right from the get-go. Marvelllous.

This is not my mission, I hesitate to suggest alterations to anyone's creative ideas, I would place a sniper in the trees where you kept one or two machine gunners?, and then again i woudn't because why would he be there. Obviously that last chundering splat of my squad from left field surprised the hell out of me. Nicely done, not too hot, not too cold.

There are no bugz  I know of other than the surrender. My score seemed quite odd, I think about 90 with one star for 18 mins work. I was in this mission one hell of a lot longer than that, OR, you immersed me in something interesting. Scores have no meaning to anyone other than the mission designer,  only you would know what 90 means.

Would I play this again? Yes. Definitely.

[Pilot]

Thanks for the reply, mikero!

"But they were wrong"

get rid of "But". It's an ironic , well paused statement in it's own fade in.

Ok, I see what you mean, I will consider this.

I wont be vitriolic about your use of yeardate. Get rid of it, stupid. Try subtletly, you've already mentioned Cuba, let us do some thinking for ourselves. If you doubt me, ask yourself why yeardates almost -to -never appear in a mission, not ever. It must be because they don't know howto right

Good point.  Now that I think about it, I also have never seen a date in a mission.  I will definately consider removing it.

I liked the subtlety of NOT ejecting from a boat. There they were, there I was, I needed no more. BUT, others, unfamiliar with map *might* have needed the orientation visual of coming in to land. I preferred it as was, others might justifiably criticise.

I'm glad you liked it this way.  I never considered starting the player out in a boat.  I guess I just placed the units and didn't give them a second thought.

My name was too long. I didn't realise I was leader, the splat arrow was hidden.

Yeah, I thought someone would say that.  It is long, isn't it?  lol, ok, I'll shorten it.

My squad were refreshingly accurate. I asked them to hit things at a distance, and surprise surprise, they did.

I'm glad to hear this.  I spent some time trying to get the player's squad to be reasonably realistic.

I spent a LONG time being commander not super grunt. This mission made me use different attack formations at variouis stages, I dared not savegame on the basis the soldier i just lost would be too important later, this is good stuff.

I'm glad to hear this.  I tried to force the player to rely more on his squad than on himself alone.

I dunno if I could have selected more machine gun, don't allow it. Make me earn my rank.

I have thought about this.  In one of my tests, I gave several extra men a machine gun.  This gave my squad a huge advantage in long distance fights.  I will consider removeing the machine guns from the selection, but I may keep them so the player has a choice.  I will wait and see what other beta-testers say.

The timing and the direction of the re-inforcing hordes all made sense to me. Particularly the timing, well done on that.

Thanks, this was also something I tried hard to do, particularly the last two squads coming from different directions.

the hell I will, but i tried <> No cutscene visible, just a stall of some sort. Fix it please.

No cutscene?!  A cutscene didn't appear showing the player dropping his weapon and surrendering?  What about the loose outro, did that play?

This is not my mission, I hesitate to suggest alterations to anyone's creative ideas, I would place a sniper in the trees where you kept one or two machine gunners?,

Feel free to offer any suggestions!  I was debating about placing snipers near the base.  I decided not to because:  The two men in the trees are actually the two men who patrol the dirt road west of the base.  When the alarm sounds, they run to that position and go prone.  I was debating on whether or not to make the soldiers in the guard towers snipers, what is your view on that?

My score seemed quite odd, I think about 90 with one star for 18 mins work. I was in this mission one hell of a lot longer than that, OR, you immersed me in something interesting. Scores have no meaning to anyone other than the mission designer,  only you would know what 90 means.

I didn't do anything in the description.ext to affect the score, so I'm not to sure why you only recieved 90 points.
18 minutes!  The quickest I could complete my mission was around 22 minutes!

Would I play this again? Yes. Definitely.

Thank you!  This is the highest complement you can give me!

Thank you for your beta-test, mikero!

[Mikero]

unreserved apology to call you stupid it was meant in the same sense as KiSS. I think (hope) you took it that way.

Others may in fact argue that since your using a pre-1985 date it 'makes sense' and is appropriate. You are the author, I've had my 2 cents.

The terrain you used isn't touched often, for whatever reason, the only 2 i've ever come accross, charge down the hill. VERY nice to be receiving that charge for a change instead of the deliverer. There's a whole backdrop of desert beach. You are the 1st to (partially) use it. (afaik)

Snipers: I was stunned by those two soldiers in the 'woods', they effectively, snipered me. Opinion only since you asked, is my Idea is idiotic. It would make no sense to me what the devil one is doing there at all. Snipers cant sideswipe a squad as fast as those two did! In fact they added to my game experience, the damage that they did do.

machine guns:

one of the appeals to me, and there were many, was that I only had two, and I really had to keep them supplied, and or get some other poor grunt to pick up the cudgel. Clearly you tested and rejected this very issue.

loose outro.

I got the great image of hands in the air, then a black screen and waited and waited, and.....

90 pts one star

not remotely concerned. It could easily be because I shot no-one (till the end) I was having too much fun being the boss (for a change)

[macguba]

Right click and save target as.

There is no such thing as loose Debriefing text.  The workaround is to have a hidden Objective which appears only if the loose ending is triggered.

Veteran mode.  Haven't read the previous posts.   This may be a bit disjointed as  it may be over several sessions today.  (In other words I should be doing something else. )

Readme

Nice to see one with a proper name!    Add the addon details and the date.   Thanks for the credit:  read snYpir's How to use Objectives and init.sqs.


Overview

Well ... there's nothing really wrong with it but the text is not very exciting.   Make it clear which side the player is on:  I assume the pic is of the defences.   Add your name.


Intro

Well there really isn't much wrong with this.       Staging post Everon then cut straight to "Kolgujev" doesn't make sense.    Put the observing spetz natz in the bush, not 3 feet away.

If you wanted to make the whole thing classier (which is not necessary,  its a good Intro) there are two things you can do.   Firstly, read xenofane's font text tutorial and get some fancy coloured text.   Secondly, increase the pace a bit.   Pace is always a problem in OFP cutscene - its almost impossible to get enough.    Consider adding a couple more shots of the same scene from different angles, to give the illusion of something happening.    There is also a little too much black background: try and give us a bit more to look at.   But as I say, these are all things to help move it from good to very good.


Briefing

Plan - good

Notes - good.  Split into two paragraphs.

Gear - don't issue smoke grenades, they are useless - AI can see through smoke and you can't.    I took the Strela and issued RPGs to everybody else with PKs for the loons a the back.   Put at least two RPGs in the squad, there's no point in making the player do too much work.

Group - nice to see an intelligent rank and skill structure, though I'd like to see more good loons and fewer crap ones.   Groups of 12 always make me suspicious:  they are easy to spot and difficult to control and you almost always get heavy casualties early on.    

Map - Gravette and Levie should have red flags.   Mark the position of the LPD, just for fun.   What, if anythng, is at Laruns?


Mission

Nice to see a boat leaving, a detail so often neglected.    Have a couple of spetz natz running past you can getting into the boats.  (Brief cutscene followed by savegame would be even better)    You wouldn't land so close to an enemy base unless you were covered in some way.

Ran west up the gully and came out cautiously onto the road and dropped two two man patrols, one going in each direction.   Brief siren.   I know its right to turn it off, but you can leave it a little longer than that.    

Left one man covering the road from Entre Deux and moved on SW to the bushes near the end of the track.   That's one advantage of a large squad.    Consider moving the medic in a couple of loons, and having loons at the back with mixed arms, maybe even binocs.   Hint to the player that they can be left in tactical positions to cover your rear etc.

Anyway, overlooking the base.  Oh for a Dragunov.  Nice to see a properly defended entrance and a hospital but not nice to see no movement whatsoever.   It's fine to have entrance guards standing still, but at least some of the others - particularly after the alarm - should be rushing around.

I was about to put my loons on hold fire to move closer when one of them opened up.    We won the exchange but took a couple of casualties.   PK ammo ran very low as the gunners tried to destroy the M2.   (Don't place it as a unit, place it empty and put a gunner in.   There is a re-man M2 script in the Ed Depot that you might want to consider.)

The over long player's character name is really starting to irritate me now.   Change it.

Advanced a little and kept shooting.  An M113 came down the track and we took it out.      There were just a couple  of enemy left when 8, who was watching our backs, called contacts.    His directions weren't very helpful and while I was trying to figure out what was happening he got shot (unsurprisingly) and a squad appeared outside the base entrance.   I was hopeful of knocking them all over but we were a but closer and our MGs didn't have the advantage they had before.   Took some casualties and the surrender option came up.    

Clicked and switched to cutscene.   We stood up, hands behind heads but still with weapons, and were shot at.    Use setCaptive true commands although they will not stop a unit firing that has already targetted us.   You'll need to figure out a workaround for that.       It would be tedious, although nice, to run a wee script on each loon to find out what weapons he has, remove them, and put them in weapon holders at his feet.      Some titletext and sound would be nice too.  Good idea though.   Dig through the sound library in the triggers and see if you can find some appropriate remarks.

11m
860 *
5 kills
11 casualties but at least two of these were after the surrender



Outro

Fine but a little dull.   These big overhead shots are fine for establishing the scene, but come in and give us a proper look.  It appears you created a nice decent POW camp and a proper prisoner exchange or something, but we never got close enough to find out.

Suggest you show prisoners getting into  a Russian chopper.  Fade out and in.    Prisoners get out of chopper, there is one officer - you.    You are separated from the others.   Fade out and in.    Your face, pull back, firing squad FIRE!     Just to make the point.  ;D


Comments

I hope to play this again properly one of these days, it looks promising.     All the ancillary stuff - Briefing and Intro and so on - is rock solid, which is surprisingly rare.     I didn't really see enough of the mission itself to be able to make much comment, except that they defenses were much too static.   Fewer loons with more waypoints and switch triggers would have been better.

I'm just reading through mikero's comments ... pretty much agree.   The surrender thing seemed to work for me although weapons weren't dropped they just went safe.

The defences should not have any snipers outside the base.    Snipers in the towers will make it noticeably harder, not least because sniper units are better at detecting the enemy.   If you try it and its too hard, consider using ordinary units with M21s, though that will still make it harder.

The player's squad needs some long range weapons.    Whether Dragunov or extra PKs is up to you.   Tighten up the weapons selection a little:   this is an infantry squad on an organised attack - they should pretty much be told what to take.    (As a general principle of good mission design, the default loadout should be the best.   There are exceptions.)    Gear selection here should really just be available to allow the player to rebalance slightly to allow for personal taste.  

Score = loons killed by you - casualties in your squad.   There are other factors but that's the basic thing.     You don't get points for enemies killed by your squad.  Don't think anybody really cares, no need to mess about with it.

OK I'm done.    

[Pilot]

@mikero

unreserved apology to call you stupid it was meant in the same sense as KiSS. I think  (hope) you took it that way.

Don't worry, no offense was taken.  I understood what you were saying.

one of the appeals to me, and there were many, was that I only had two, and I really had to keep them supplied, and or get some other poor grunt to pick up the cudgel.

Ok, I will consider removing them

I got the great image of hands in the air, then a black screen and waited and waited, and.....

It didn't end?!  Damn!  It worked for me when I tested it, I'll have another look at it.

90 pts one star

not remotely concerned. It could easily be because I shot no-one (till the end) I was having too much fun being the boss (for a change)

Oh, ok.  That probably does explain your low score!  Should I add points to the player's score if he complets the objectives, as a reward?

@Macguba
I will reply to your post when you have finished it.

[macguba]

Done

[Pilot]

@Macguba

Nice to see one with a proper name!     Add the addon details and the date.  Thanks for the credit:  read snYpir's How to use Objectives and init.sqs.

I was thinking of you when I named it!  Will add the addon details, and will read snypirs tutorial.

Well ... there's nothing really wrong with it but the text is not very exciting.  Make it clear which side the player is on:  I assume the pic is of the defences.  Add your name.

Your right about the text.  I am not very creative with writing.  I will try and think of something more gripping.
About adding my name: I thought I read somewhere that this was frowned upon?

Well there really isn't much wrong with this.      Staging post Everon then cut straight to "Kolgujev" doesn't make sense.    Put the observing spetz natz in the bush, not 3 feet away.

How should I change the opening scene to make more sense?  The spetznatz is difficult to place properly.  He is the same spetz natz that runs up the beach.  If I place the marker too close to the bush, you can't see him, if I place it too far away, he's too far away from the bush.  I'll try and see if I can't get him closer.

If you wanted to make the whole thing classier (which is not necessary,  its a good Intro) there are two things you can do.  Firstly, read xenofane's font text tutorial and get some fancy coloured text.  Secondly, increase the pace a bit.  Pace is always a problem in OFP cutscene - its almost impossible to get enough.    Consider adding a couple more shots of the same scene from different angles, to give the illusion of something happening.    There is also a little too much black background: try and give us a bit more to look at.  But as I say, these are all things to help move it from good to very good.

I will try adding colored text.  I agree the pace of the intro might be a little slow.  It will be difficult adjusting though, because I am limited on time by the length of the music.  Currently, when the mission ends, that's where the music ends, too.

Notes - good.  Split into two paragraphs.

Will do

nice to see an intelligent rank and skill structure, though I'd like to see more good loons and fewer crap ones.

I have been debating this, and here is my view:  Most of the Russian army is made up of conscripts.  Also, the afghan war is still raging at this time, so most of the Soviet army is fighting over there.  These two factors combined will mean the forces in this little island chain are not that great.  Most will be recruits, with a few rookies, veterans, and very few experts.  What is your view?

Have a couple of spetz natz running past you can getting into the boats.  (Brief cutscene followed by savegame would be even better)    You wouldn't land so close to an enemy base unless you were covered in some way.

Ok, that makes sense.

Brief siren.  I know its right to turn it off, but you can leave it a little longer than that.

The siren I have automatically ends, I can't adjust how long it stays on

Oh for a Dragunov.

I intentionally did not give the player choice of a sniper rifle ;D, I thought it would make the mission too easy.

(Don't place it as a unit, place it empty and put a gunner in.  There is a re-man M2 script in the Ed Depot that you might want to consider.)

I can't believe I overlooked that!  I will do so immediately.  Also, I do have a re-man script running, and it does work.  It takes anywhere from 5-10 seconds for the next man to realize he's the gunner.  Also, the script is only run for the men at the sandbag wall.

The over long player's character name is really starting to irritate me now.  Change it.

Hmmm, two strong complaints on this name.  I think I'll shorten it. ;D

We stood up, hands behind heads but still with weapons, and were shot at.    Use setCaptive true commands although they will not stop a unit firing that has already targetted us.  You'll need to figure out a workaround for that.

What?!  I did use the setcaptive command!  I guess I'll make the american's combatmode "BLUE" then, so they won't fire.

It would be tedious, although nice, to run a wee script on each loon to find out what weapons he has, remove them, and put them in weapon holders at his feet.

Currently, I give them the command to drop their main weapon.  They don't do this?

Fine but a little dull.  These big overhead shots are fine for establishing the scene, but come in and give us a proper look.  It appears you created a nice decent POW camp and a proper prisoner exchange or something, but we never got close enough to find out.  Suggest you show prisoners getting into  a Russian chopper.  Fade out and in.    Prisoners get out of chopper, there is one officer - you.    You are separated from the others.  Fade out and in.    Your face, pull back, firing squad FIRE!    Just to make the point.  

 ;D  Very good idea's.  I will try to get some close shots, but again I am limited on time by the length of the song.  "Amen" is a very short song!

I didn't really see enough of the mission itself to be able to make much comment, except that they defenses were much too static.  Fewer loons with more waypoints and switch triggers would have been better.

I have an idea on how to fix this problem.  I'll try it out and see if it works.

I'm just reading through mikero's comments ... pretty much agree.  The surrender thing seemed to work for me although weapons weren't dropped they just went safe.

Darn!  I gave them the command to drop their weapons!  I'll do some more testing of the script, and try to make it more reliable.

The player's squad needs some long range weapons.    Whether Dragunov or extra PKs is up to you.  Tighten up the weapons selection a little:

Ok, I'll tighten it up some.  Do you think I should keep PKs in the selection?  I don't want to add sniper rifles, I think it might be unrealistic, and would make it too easy for the player.

Thanks for the beta-test, Macguba!

[macguba]

I was thinking of you when I named it!

At last, somebody listens!  

About adding my name: I thought I read somewhere that this was frowned upon?

No, quite the contrary.     My personal view is that having things like addons on a second page is fine, but not everybody agrees - it is a question of taste.   Everybody agrees that the author name should be there somewhere.    Everybody also agrees that crap like advertising your next mission should not appear in the overview.

He is the same spetz natz that runs up the beach

Fake it - use a different one.

How should I change the opening scene to make more sense?

"Already well established on Kolgujev, the Soviets decide to use Everon as a staging post"      Or

"Kolgujev:  Soviet Base.  Preparing for the invasion of Everon."

Keep the music and the Intro length - its good that they end together.  Add more shots and more movement within shots.

The whole skill thing is tricky because the balance of names is wrong:  too many "recruit" and not enough "veteran".    Forget the names - what really counts is gameplay, and with better units (on both sides) you get better gameplay.   By all means have a few recruits, but hey - this could be an elite unit withdrawn from Afganistan for the even more difficult task of invading Everon.

Thought:  the enemy in this mission should be the Resistance.   Local Everon troops.   If the US already held Everon, then an attack would be tantamount to launching a full scale war on the US.

You are correct not to give the player a Dragunov - it would make it too easy.   Another reason for not having M21s on bodies outside the base.

I didn't actually notice you had a re-man script, though I was surprised at one point when there was still a gunner so I reckon it probably worked.  You are right to limit the possible loons, it gets tedious otherwise.

setCaptive is not sufficient for the the surrender script, you will indeed need something else to stop Americans firing.    We all had our weapons on our backs.

If the song is too short for the Outro, just play it again and fade it out at the end.  It's nice to have the film and the score the same length, but its not essential.

Gear selection.   If we don't need the Strela, lose it.    If we do, give it to somebody.   The maximum number of PKs should probably be four:  I had four and that was fine.  One was killed early on, thankfully, so he could be used as an ammo crate.       Basically, figure out what you think is the best squad loadout (without being silly) and make it that, with one of each thing spare.    Offer a handgun for the player, you might as well and some people like it.   Also a few satchels and mines in Selection.    As I approached the road I wished I'd brought a mine or two to lay on it.

Actually its gotta be something like:-
2 rpgs
2 pks
2 soldiers
2 grenadiers
player
medic
1 or 2 others: maybe pk and medic, or just AA

with 1 or 2 rpg, 1 or 2 pk and bits and pieces in Selection.  Maybe the heavy grenade launcher for the player to take if he likes, with a handgun.   (AI loons don't actually fire them very often.)

Thanks for the beta-test, Macguba!

My pleasure!

[bedges]

v1.96, veteran, benchmark 5050

overview

'red tide' should really be in inverted commas as it's the title of something. needs a wee bit more info there, and the border on the pic could be tidied up just a little.

intro

not fully blacked out

'taken off of'... 'removed from' would sound better.

'the soviets still, after 20 years...' rearrange the sentence to read easier - 'after 20 years, the soviets still desired...'

initial shot along the ranks is too long. nice shot, definitely, but needs a wee bit of variation. i'd suggest focusing on one loon in the midst of the others and rotating the camera around from within the ranks; overhead from back of the ranks to officer at the front; over the front officer's shoulder...

odd tense change in the narrative text. you go from past tense, to present tense, even when referring to things which happen over time - "for the next week, spetz naz scout out the main objectives..." no biggie, just a wee bit odd. it does actually help to increase the pace a little as things start being described in present tense.

the spetz naz loon is away from the road, and yet his binocular view is looking straight down it...

shot of ship, bmps and boats could do with starting closer.

units are not really 'tasked to' something, they're usually tasked with something, and assigned to something.

last text should fade out with the blackout.

briefing

'this attack is three-pronged.' no need to call it an attack twice.

if you use a capital C for Comrades, always use it. try not to swap between Comrades and comrades. i tend to capitalise compass directions too, but that's down to personal preference.

'compose'... think of using 'comprise' instead.

see? you use 'tasked with' in the briefing

intel section typo - 'minimun'...

'two-man' rather than 'two man'...

you needn't link to the same marker more than once in any paragraph - chotain and entre deux. i would suggest linking once to the place, and perhaps links to separate pages in the briefing showing details about the type of vehicles - a picture of an m113 for example.

i would also rotate the 'start' marker so its arrow points in the direction the player will be taking.

'Our Comrades in the Weather Bureau expect this to continue...' sounds a bit better...

picky details perhaps, but they all add to the polish on the mission.

mission

more anon/

[Pilot]

not fully blacked out

Do you mean you could see ground?  Or are you talking about half the screen being a dark grey, and the other half being black?  If it's the latter, I'm not too sure what to do about that.

'taken off of'... 'removed from' would sound better.

done

'the soviets still, after 20 years...' rearrange the sentence to read easier - 'after 20 years, the soviets still desired...'

done

initial shot along the ranks is too long. nice shot, definitely, but needs a wee bit of variation. i'd suggest focusing on one loon in the midst of the others and rotating the camera around from within the ranks; overhead from back of the ranks to officer at the front; over the front officer's shoulder...

I agree, that shot is too long.  Adjusting this scene in the intro is on my to-do list.

odd tense change in the narrative text. you go from past tense, to present tense, even when referring to things which happen over time - "for the next week, spetz naz scout out the main objectives..." no biggie, just a wee bit odd. it does actually help to increase the pace a little as things start being described in present tense.

This was intentional.  The first part is describing something that happened in the past, an event that has lead to the mission.  The rest of the intro shows how the russians prepared for the mission.  If this changing of tenses is too wierd/confusing, I will make everything past tense.

the spetz naz loon is away from the road, and yet his binocular view is looking straight down it...

This is difficult to get right.  The binocular rescource does not magnify the scene, so I had to place the camera close to the base, giving a slightly incorrect view.  I do have an idea to make this look better, but it may take some time.

shot of ship, bmps and boats could do with starting closer.

I have done some changes to this scene already.  I don't start the camera close, but I make it pan faster.  I may still move it closer, however.

units are not really 'tasked to' something, they're usually tasked with something, and assigned to something.

I changed it, and it sounds much better, thanks!

last text should fade out with the blackout.

I have added custom text to the intro, and this is one of the effects I added.

'this attack is three-pronged.' no need to call it an attack twice.

I fixed this

if you use a capital C for Comrades, always use it. try not to swap between Comrades and comrades. i tend to capitalise compass directions too, but that's down to personal preference.

I made them all lowercase.  Not sure if that's right, though, so feel free to correct me.

'compose'... think of using 'comprise' instead.

I changed this to: You and your men are assigned to the central landing group.

see? you use 'tasked with' in the briefing

lol, as I said above, I changed the intro to "assigned to"

intel section typo - 'minimun'...

Thanks, it's fixed now

you needn't link to the same marker more than once in any paragraph - chotain and entre deux. i would suggest linking once to the place, and perhaps links to separate pages in the briefing showing details about the type of vehicles - a picture of an m113 for example.

Ok, I'll remove excess markers.  Not sure if I'll add details about the vehicles, though.  A Soviet squad commander should certainly know the difference between American vehicles.  If not, he does not belong in command.

i would also rotate the 'start' marker so its arrow points in the direction the player will be taking.

Thanks for this suggestion, it's done.

'Our Comrades in the Weather Bureau expect this to continue...' sounds a bit better...

Sounds better, thanks

picky details perhaps, but they all add to the polish on the mission.

Keep them coming, they allow me to improve my mission!

Looking forward to hearing the rest!

[GI-YO]

here comes my review. i'll play and update as I go along. Looking forward to this mission.

OVERVIEW - nice picture and border. text is fine

INTRO - liked it, built up the story, then showed the many various elements of the attack force. (on a side note why is there no air power invloved, even high level bombing etc etc, something you would expect in an attack).

BRIEFING - tells what we are doing and what the other sqauds are doing, but doesn't say what will happen if we fail or another sqaud fails eg "we must take the base to stop reinforcements getting to the other groups etc."
I didn't think the etxt was very russiany, except for comrade, I would suggest changing this, so it sounds like a russian is writing it and not an american.

MISSION - here goes nothing....This mission tis a tricky one, after numerous assault attempts i get lucky (or skill) and manage to clear the base of baddies, but lose the whole squad in the process, i have an RPG and an M16, lots of bullets to share. I liked the gaurds going into the towers when the siren goes off. I destoryed the M113, the tick hasent ticked so i guess i have to defeat the conunter attacks on my own  . As I type there is a huge barrage of bullets hitting the 50.cal, they must think itsd a baddie (hopefully they'll run out of bullets!).

Your part about air support sound greeeaaaattt, as tony the tiger would say.

EDIT - victory is mine!!!! This was one tough cookie to crush. leaving where i left off i died, so on trying again got the remaindre of my squad into the middle of the base and there they acted as a good base of fire covering all directions. a sqaud came from behind the base down the hill and they were taken care of. then a sqaud came down the road and i delt with them using the 50cal  ;D. thena sqaud at 10 oclock coming out in the trees, and again the 50cal was used, and 10 the medic did me proud. some sidechat to HQ and mission done.

score 9540
kills 5 officers
4 LAW
M113
7 grenadier
medic
5 Machinegunners
2 crew
17 soldiers

and most my sqaud died  

OUTRO - Yer that russian flag sure looks fine, helicopter took an age to land but thats just the crazy AI helicopter control.

OVERALL - a good mission which is challenging but do-able, probably easier for people who are good at OFP  . It had a good back ground story so gave me something to fight for. The base was well defended and the m113 reinforcement was good.
my suggestions I felt that having wave after wave of troops running at us wasen't making best use of this mission. I would have liked to have seen a helicopter flypast judgeing the situation, and possibly another armoured unit coming to evict us. and having a sqaud run down the road infront of the 50 cal isn't a sensibel thing to do, how about having them 'sneak' up behind the base and lob some grenades in, add a bit of spice. these aren't critsimsms just things i thougth could be changed.
very good stuff here :thumbsup: with the help of all the other BETA testers im sure this mission will be jolly good stuff once its finshed fully. Happy mission making

GI-YO

I also liked the surrender function, even if i did surrender by accident  

[Pilot]

Hi GI-YO!

Looking forward to this mission.

I hope you aren't disappointed!

(on a side note why is there no air power invloved, even high level bombing etc etc, something you would expect in an attack).

I overlooked this.  I have decided to put the following in the briefing:

You will not have air support in this mission.  All air assets are being used to neutralize the airfield.

Does this sound ok?

but doesn't say what will happen if we fail or another sqaud fails eg "we must take the base to stop reinforcements getting to the other groups etc."

Ok, I will add something

I didn't think the etxt was very russiany, except for comrade, I would suggest changing this, so it sounds like a russian is writing it and not an american.

Yeah, I'm not much of a Russian, am I?  Any pointers you could give me to make the briefing/notes more "russiany" would be much appreciated!

Good luck!

EDIT:
@Macguba

Thought:  the enemy in this mission should be the Resistance.  Local Everon troops.  If the US already held Everon, then an attack would be tantamount to launching a full scale war on the US.

Uh oh, I think you might be right.  I will see how difficult it would be to replace the units.  I may keep the mission the way it is, simply because of the effort involved to switch units.

[Mikero]

MacGuba

this is the 99th time I learn more from listening to you, than talking.

@pilot

thinking on the intro a bit more, it is overwhelming for a single mission. It's too much, and just right, for a campaign intro. (excluding all valid critiques on font, color, phrasing). It left me wanting to play the campaign. I knew I was gonna get called to re-inforce Levie, or whatever.

You might, possibly, consider stripping this intro out and making it the chapter cutscene, with a more directly "relevant" one for the issue at hand. If campaign is somewhere near your intention, then this one is a refreshing change from capturing the airport (again).

The way you've presented the storyline (for me) opens up large tracts of switched missions to different parts of the island. All happening 'at the same time'.

[Pilot]

@GI-YO

OUTRO - none

Are you sure?!  I have an outro for both endings.  Did it not play?

About the counter-attacks:
One squad is supposed to attack from Chotain.  They are the first wave.  Two more squads are supposed to attack from Entre Duex.  I tried to make it so they attacked at the same time, from different directions.  This is easier said than done, however.  I think the problem is neither squad realizes there are bad guys in the base.  I'll see if I can fix this with some reveal commands, and maybe a command that tells one squad to hurry up if the other is getting shot at.

@mikero
I'm just glad I was able to finish this one mission!  I haven't even considered making a campaign yet!

Thanks to everyone who has beta-tested so far!  Hopefully, if all goes well, I'll have a new version of this mission ready soon!