(Review Completed) [SP] Fida'i - Checkpoint.

[LCD]

PLEASE REVIEW

A little bit about the mission itself
Its short mision... shud b played in less dan 15 mins... playing da east side and assualting an US checkpoint... or meybe dis r oder sides... u decide

What role the player will have
Comanding 2 soldier group (Player + Squadmate) on da way 2 attack

Single Player or Multiplayer (and if MP, which type)
SP

Which island
Saharani

Version of ArmA required
I made it on 1.07 beta... so dat shud be it

Size of zip file
39KB

Any specific points you want people to consider
1) after u play da mision i wanna know what u think bout da time da reinforcments take 2 arrive...
2) did you encounter any of da "secret" objectives ? need more hints 4 em ?
3) did you succed in takin a POW ? was it hard/easy/nything else ?

Full details of any addons
NONE

I hope you have fun w/ it

LCD OUT

[smoke52]

Intro:
intro is pretty good when it works, but its a little buggy. like a few times the civilian only shoots one time before he dies or he gets shot walks backward more then dies or the sounds cut out when the US soldier shoots a couple more rounds into his dead body. also it doesnt really tie into the starting of the mission, explain a little more who that guy that died was and how it ties into you attacking the checkpoint for a POW.

Briefing:
to the point. few spelling errors but nothing bad. its still in ALPHA stage after all.

Mission:
1. if i jump into the car the mission ends right away 
2. each time (3 times) the 3rd guy joined my squad he dies right away...is it one of the US soldiers? if so he should be hiding in the tent. also i think you need to add some kind of check to see if the POW is alive or not and then exec the script that makes him join you. thats why i think hes joining my squad then dying (i killed everyone at the checkpoint )

edit: play it again and i left one guy alive, so ignore what i said

3. assault checkpoint doesnt get checked off until i get into the 4x4. maybe make it when you kill all the guys around the checkpoint.
4. backup never came, one time a blackhawk flew around about 250meters away around the HMMV's and M113.

edit: backup came this time and it was fast, i think i got mowed down by the blackhawk, i would delay it another 5 secs at most.

5. i would just put all the guards on careless, its looks a little wierd when they keep repeating that one animation.
6. sometimes the guards get alerted early, im not sure if it was because i was spotted or not though.
7. couldnt find any clues to secret objectives

Outro:
a basic one would do. show the destruction of the checkpoint, then cut to a view of the player driving away. you could throw some camera movement in there or something, but definitely have it show the player driving away before it ends

Suggestions:
1. maybe make it a longer mission by using that farm house just up the road. make the player have to go there for a POW or something.
2. each time i played i went into the castle right in front where you start and sat there picking off each guy until theres one left then i ran down, got the POW and ran up to my truck to end the mission. try and encourage the player to get closer to the checkpoint before the diversion happens by maybe making it darker out, not fully night time but just when the sun is going down.

[Cheetah]

Fida'i - Checkpoin

Overview

The image is pretty good, could use a border though. "Five Minutes" -> "Five minutes", and at the end of the text there should be a dot.

Intro

A rather short intro, scripted pretty well. The blackin/outs should be adjusted, they don't feel timed well.
You should take a look at the camere angles, right now they can be improved.

Briefing

Plan:
"shoiuld" -> "should"
"my contacts" -> "My contacts"
"orginaizing " -> "organizing"
"proably" ->" probably"

Notes:
"finnaly" -> "finally"
"freinds"-> "friends"
"comminication" -> "communication"

There is no weapon selection, which is good because we've recently aquired our weapons. From the briefing I assume that the radio has to be destroyed, I tried to do that but had no time as I was busy taking a POW which took me quite a number of tries. So I think delaying the reinforcements is a good thing.

The objectives have links, though I recommend adding some text to the markers. Especially the checkpoint marker.
As noted, the objectives work, but only upon going inside the car the "clear the checkpoint" marker gets ticked off if you take a POW with you.

Mission

Why are we SLA instead of Civilans? You've scripted the checkpoint stuff pretty good, looks quite realistic. The layout of the outpost is fine, although not perfect. It is too dense for me, too many objects inside.

The distraction is predictable, enjoyable , but not too effective. He blew up every time before shooting and took only one soldier with him. That makes it a lot harder for the player.

Reinforcements arrive too soon for me, especially the chopper which is visible if the player decides to flank the outpost by going to the other side of the castle. Please let the chopper come from farther away, because once he arrives he is quite lethal with that Machine gun. Did you use some kind of script to make him more effective?

The chopper crashes into the castle once, I tried hiding next to it, then boom. Chopper down.

Taking a POW is quite easy once you know how to do it, that is eliminating all but one soldier.

Overall

This mission is quite enjoyable, but a few things have to be fixed / improved in order to make the mission feel more polished. I wouldn't say that this mission is a Alpha, unless if you intend to add more objectives. It definitely feels like a beta version to me.

[LCD]

Thx both of u

@ smoke :-

intro : it have 2 b da engines fault... 4 i am perfect  
but a good mision maker overcomes da engine... so i will look into dat nd fix

Mision :
1) ill solve dat
2) its ur responsibility 2 keep da POW alive... ill mention dat he gotta b alive 2 count as POW in da breifing or somin like dat
3) actually i want da p[layer 2 b able 2 run away anytime he wants... if he feels da reinfocments r coming he can run away...
4) u r suposed to pull back b4 backup arrives... so its ok it kills u... but i think ill push da timing back a lil
5) i want dem 2 b in animation... its not natural 2 b standing alert all da time... i think ill keep like dat...
6) if dey were its cuz u were spotted... dey r all on careless... so dey wudnt attack unless i scripted em 2 do...

suggestions
1) i actually wan da mision 2 b dat long
2) i will make it lil harder 2 just snipe every1 from dere
-----------------------------------

@ Cheetah

intro - will work on dat

Why are we SLA instead of Civilans? You've scripted the checkpoint stuff pretty good, looks quite realistic. The layout of the outpost is fine, although not perfect. It is too dense for me, too many objects inside.

will change 2 civies on next version... bout da outpos layout, i cant think of nything 2 remove... if u have ny suggestions ?

The distraction is predictable, enjoyable , but not too effective. He blew up every time before shooting and took only one soldier with him. That makes it a lot harder for the player.

its shud not b very much of assistance... he wont pass da guards check nyway... so dats probably da best he can do ?... if he waits till shoting starts da soldiers wont like a civie running toward em during an attack and will shot him

Reinforcements arrive too soon for me, especially the chopper which is visible if the player decides to flank the outpost by going to the other side of the castle. Please let the chopper come from farther away, because once he arrives he is quite lethal with that Machine gun. Did you use some kind of script to make him more effective?

will make em further away... i didnt touch da chopper w/ no scripting

The chopper crashes into the castle once, I tried hiding next to it, then boom. Chopper down.

lol  accidents do happen

Taking a POW is quite easy once you know how to do it, that is eliminating all but one soldier.

yeah... so it is... i do want you to get da pow after all

This mission is quite enjoyable, but a few things have to be fixed / improved in order to make the mission feel more polished. I wouldn't say that this mission is a Alpha, unless if you intend to add more objectives. It definitely feels like a beta version to me.

i said its alpha cuz i didnt have time to test it more dan 3 times b4 posting... my comp being broken n all... so i wasnt sure everything is working

From the briefing I assume that the radio has to be destroyed

it shud b destroyed 1st thing... b4 a soldier can run 2 it and call reinforcments... so u have 2 locate it nd snipe it just as ur diversion explodes....
----------------------------------

well next version will probably include outro and outro loose... and all those fixes mentioned

thx all for betaing again

LCD OUT

[LCD]

UPLOADED now version 2 1st post

have fun 

LCD OUT

[Nixer6]

I really like your choice of time of day. Great atmosphere and still decent visibility.

The outro kind of lost me....is the downing of the helo connected with the prisoner?

And I couldn't get my brother (2) to stay in hold fire mode.

PS It works in 1.06 also. I have the first 1.07 beta, but I can't install the second "fix", and I have a 8800 GTX so I avoid 1.07 most of the time.

[LCD]

did everything work right then ? thx 4 checking it nixer

um... da chopper is suposed 2 chase da player... ill make it more undersnatndable next time

LCD OUT

[smoke52]

played this again and i like the changes.

first time i hung around the rocks that are towards where the backup comes from. my teammate didnt hold his fire and gave us away (might have been my fault since i took us off hold fire then put it back on), but the distraction didnt blow up. also because i was given away i had to pick off all of the enemy and no radio signal was given.

second time i ran all the way to the end of the hill near the other castle, used my binocs and saw the heli/apc sitting on the road. then i went down the hill and attacked from the direction the reinforcements would come from. again i killed everyone....there were two guys left and they were outside the checkpoint area. i killed the one and the other started shooting at me so i had to kill him...mission failed again and no backup came. also i found the explosives in the crate both times, so the problems i ran into:

i cant extract using the truck if i kill everyone and no backup came...there needs to be a trigger or something that checks when all the guys in the camp are dead the mission fails or unlocks the truck so you can extract still and maybe set the reinforcements in motion when they all die.

suggestions:
1. is the radio the one on the barrels near the ammo crate? if so you should change it to the other military radio
2. the guys sitting around the camp fire were using their NV goggles, maybe just remove the goggles away from those two or three guys
3. i like the barrier you dont need all the signs and stuff though, just the concrete wall would be fine.
4. spelling errors still in the briefing and words get cut off at the end of the page, just add an extra space or two before that word.
5. you could hide the heli, apc, etc farther back and set them to go off earlier or when a certain amount of guys die at the checkpoint.


just played it another time....this time was pretty funny...killed all the guys except one in the checkpoint area, after about 30 secs he finally gave up and joined me. i went and grabbed the explosives and planted them. next ran to my truck to extract since everything was done. i jumped in and nothing happened. i told 2 and 3 to get in, 3 couldnt because theres only 2 seats. me and 2 were in the truck and the mission still didnt end. i told 2 to get out and 3 to get in....once he did 2 shot and killed me! then unloaded 3 MORE clips into my dead body...3 got out and got in the driver seat of the truck and started driving somewhere....so i quit there.

oh yeah and no back up came.

[LCD]

baah... i runied it instead of fixing it 

thx 4 beta testing... ill fix it asap

LCD OUT

[LCD]

@smoke52
i fixed da reinforcments and lock and ending tings

as or suggestions

1) i wanted but da military radio is not a real object (check it in editor if u want)
2) good idea...
3) i like dat barrier... im keepin it
4) i donno bout spellin (ill have som1 one checkin it) but da breifin looks fine on my comp 
5) i hid em really far now

thx 4 testin it... already updated da mision

LCD OUT

[smoke52]

1. you cant use the "radio (rt-254)" ?
4. im doing briefings for the OTK missions, translating it by fixing the spelling and words, so i could fix them
and i guess the briefing is probably messed up on mine because im running a widescreen resolution.

ill go test the new version later

plan:
prisioner = prisoner

assault:
reinforcments = reinforcements
...all we need is to shot = ...all we need is to shoot

notes:
...hold of this weapons = ...hold of the weapons
baragining = bargaining
concetrate = concentrate
prisioner = prisoner
...from what i understood = ...from what i understand
reinforcments = reinforcements
minuets = minutes
understood = understand

[LCD]

thx d00d

1) cant... check it in da editor it have model but its not real (u cant shot it + u can move thro it)
4) if u can help w/ dat... itll b wonderfull

LCD OUT

[dmakatra]

Oh, bollocks mate. How do you expect me to keep my promise of always betaing your missions when you and make them in ArmA? Rest assured this'll be the first mission I'll try when/if I get hold of the bloody game.

By the way, you still have that klop/klob/klub/club/whatever it was?

/Armsty



Oh, and,

*Gets Shot*

[LCD]

heres an ugly face u dont c everyday 

glad 2 hear from ya armsty... comin back 2 OFPEC u  ?    or u stil active in da old forums  go n buy new game... its tasty 

of course my klop is open

LCD OUT

[LCD]

new ver... hopefully itll get tested

LCD OUT

[MrN]

I've had a quick punt at this but for the moment it eludes me. I can normally take on 20 men single handed but I can't take that bloody checkpoint! I just need to be a bit sneakier about it I think.

There's plenty of typo's and spelling probs which have already been pointed out.

But, the setup is quite cool, the roadblock is well executed and I'll have a go at the weekend when I have more time.

 

[LCD]

actually me and my bro can do it in 4, 5 mins if we are stealthy enough... right now it seems all da bugs (not talkin bout typos...  ) r squashed but im still tryin 2 balance difficulty settings on dat

LCD OUT

[MrN]

Ya, de impreshun I had wus dat it wus all slik and stuff but it wus my lame skilz that cauzed the probs.

 

[LCD]

New version... hopefully da last one too... 

i fixed da typos pointed out  nd made a readme file 

so lets see how da testin goes now

LCD OUT

[MrN]

Regular, V1.07

Intro:
The camerawork is good and a neat effect when the civ gets killed.

Typo in briefing assualt (assault)

Missionanough too Outro

[LCD]

lol 

i think ur suposed 2 knock him out nd put him in da baggage ?... ill script dat can b fun 

ill fix dose small erorrs just tomorow... thx 4 betain dis

LCD OUT

[MrN]

i think ur suposed 2 knock him out nd put him in da baggage ?.

Good plan.
 

[LCD]

i didnt find a good hitting anim  but i scripted somein anywayz... so now u can actually put pow in trunk of ur jeep... oh yes what i meant 2 say is... new version

LCD OUT

[MrN]

i didnt find a good hitting anim

what about this one:

AwopPercMstpSgthWnonDnon_end

Downloading now...

Edit: You sure this is the update? The date and filesize is identical to the other one I have.

[LCD]

i added 5 lines of code  nd removed 5 lines somewere else

LCD OUT

[MrN]

Edit: You sure this is the update? The date and filesize is identical to the other one I have.

My bad, it's still early here...

I can't seem to get in the truck so the mission doesn't end. I can put the POW in the trunk but I can't do anything else...unless I'm missing something 

[LCD]

oopsie

dont tell ny1 bout it

i just put lock true instead of lock false.... 

fixed btw

LCD OUT

[MrN]

i just put lock true instead of lock false....

That would do it. 

Seems all good now. 

I know you're probably wishing I'd stop bugging you but it may be an idea to limit the ammo loadout, I can do this in about 3/4 minutes, 3 grenades and 3/4 rifleshots now. Maybe get rid of the grenades? I can turn into a close range artillery position and nade the crap out of the roadblock before the bad guys have woken up.

TTFN

Edit-

[LCD]

remove da grenades its gonna b den ...... i alwayz like 2 hear stuff like dat i hate grenades nywayz... dey lack da prescision i like 

but right now i need 2 go n work... so dats 4 sometime else... MrN u da best    wudnt got were i am W/O u 

still dis ver 4 beta ppl... da nades tingy gonna b removed just b4 submiting i think

LCD OUT

[Cheetah]

still dis ver 4 beta ppl... da nades tingy gonna b removed just b4 submiting i think

Removed [PLEASE REVIEW], add it back if you really want it reviewed and it's out of beta phase, please.

EDIT:

I'm going to review this mission.

[smoke52]

intro:
when the guy is killed he says "is history" and his lips move even though hes dead 
let the intro play 1-2 secs more before it ends so you get more of the gun shot sound, right now it cuts off halfway through the sound.

mission:
if you kill all POW's you cant end the mission by extracting in the truck
i liked the time of day you had before it seems too bright the way it is now.
balance is good
would it be possible to get the POW lying in the back of the truck when you knock him out? because that would look cool

outro:
when the missile hits the heli the camera goes out to the ocean somewhere for a quick second.
heli slowly went down and the pilot jumped out but the heli crushed him..haha!

seems almost complete now.

[dmakatra]

Ah, bummer. I'll be getting ArmA next week. Shit-timing, aye? Looks like I won't be able to beta this one either.

[LCD]

gimme a week nd ill have somin ready 4 u    its already halfway done... nd if i can get a lap top up and gunnin ill have taam 2 finish it from work    so itll take less dan a week

LCD OUT

[Cheetah]

File: Fida'i Checkpoint (39kb) Version: Final Requires: ArmA Author: LCD Score: 6 Type: Single Player Addons: None. Description: Together with a friend, move in and take a POW to trade him with your imprisoned brother.

Reviewer: Cheetah

Overview:

This is the good quality an overview needs. There is a picture with border, which shows some of the content this mission has in store for you. The text is descriptive and brief, just what you expect of an overview.

Intro:

A rather short but enjoyable intro, timing was the issue in this one and the author succeeded in doing it right. The camera angles are fine, what is lacking? A few lines of text to introduce the background story of this mission.

Briefing:

There is plenty of background in the briefing to understand what is going on. Plan and notes section are written in good fashion, paragraphs are used as well as marker links. The markers though could have been improved, the most important marker has a typo.
Others, placed on top of each other, make the map look crowded and harder to read. Clicking the links in the objectives brings up a special page with more information instead of the normal link, could have been all added to one additional page. Better was to link to the markers in the objectives.

Mission:

The mission has been well scripted, a guard at the checkpoint makes sure the drivers don't pass unnoticed. Weird were the soldiers at the camp in the 'sit' switchMove. A looping script is used and that results in the odd feature of guards hopping from sit to stand in a fraction of a second. The reinforcements' timing could have been sharpened, right now they arrive too late. It takes them way too long to get there, the player has enough time to complete his objectives.
As the objectives aren't hard once you know how to tackle them, the difficulty of this mission is lower than average.

Your teammate is useful and a good shooter, necessary to complete the mission as planned. The base layout is pretty good, it looks like a roadblock, but it would have been good to add an additional dynamic element. Like an enemy 4x4 moving towards the roadblock in 1/3th of the cases. To make it less predictable and easy, more dynamic.

Outro:

As the intro short, but here the timing is a bit odd. You get an ocean view for a second and it was hard for me to understand what was going on. The connection with the mission is far from obvious.

Special:

Worth mentioning are all the special scripts LCD made for this mission. They add a replayability factor to the mission, allowing you to score more points and complete the mission either with more or less success.

Summary:

Fida'i - Checkpoint is a short mission with plenty of action and good use of scripts which make the mission replayable. See this mission as one of the BIS missions one can use to entertain themselves for a few minutes.
The polish in this one could have been upped a notch or two, for example the enemy guards sitting/standing or the outro which could have made more sense.

Details
Player side - Civilian
Island - Sahrani
Time of Day - Day
Weather - Clear

Scores
Overview - 8
Briefing - 7
Scripting - 7
Camera - 7
Overall - 6/10

The beta thread can be seen here.

[Cheetah]

Review completed.

Feel free to continue the mission discussion.

[DjTano]

Overview - 8
Briefing - 7
Scripting - 7
Camera - 7

i think this review has a big problem:

Overall - 6/10

wtf? how can it make a 6?

the average is a 7.25, so you can either keep it like that, turn it into a 7 or a 7.5, but going down of 1.25 points is just not fair to the mission...

[Planck]

The Overall score given is not a straight mathematical average of the main scoring criteria.

There are other factors weighted in.

I refer you to this topic for a clearer explanation.



Planck

[LCD]

@ DjTano

u played da mision ?

if u enjoyed it u know its good.... u shud not care what da reviewer sayz... what do they understand anyway ? dey only reviewers

LCD OUT

[dmakatra]

Compared to the many gems that this author has produced over the years (Save The Beta Tester is still one of my personal favourites. Absolutely genious.) this was crap. It didn't even have a pink dialog! Every mission needs a pink dialog!

...

Anyway, I liked it even thought it was short. I see myself as a good OFP player but I haven't really gotten used to ArmA yet so I was struggling to complete it. Besides, who doesn't like shooting at yanks now and then? I know I do.

 

[LCD]

LOL 

i missed ya d00d 

its not fair 2 compare dis 2 my previous work... i was just gettin used 2 ArmA in dat  check da next 1 (includin blue dialog ) and w/o a chance 2 save da beta tester 

@ yanks : i do 2

LCD OUT

[dialupsux]

does this mission work with new update 1,86 (or whatever it is) I get pow in car but it doesnt register as a completed objective then I drive all around the island but never ends,???

[LCD]

it shud work.... just instead of sendin him into da car... instead use da action i added 4 u

LCD OUT