(Review Completed) [SP] Navy Seals

[Jffsieg]

Hey all, I just finished up my first ever mission im going to release.  Its about a 4 man seal team that has to rescue two downed Black Hawk Pilots in Rahmadi.

You need two additinal addons:

Rellikki's Resistance Troops V.1.1 which can be found here:

http://www.armaholic.com/page.php?id=762

and Dirty Harry's Navy Seals which will be found here:

http://www.armaholic.com/page.php?id=1008

and my mission can be found here:

http://files.filefront.com/NavySealszip/;7020583;/fileinfo.html

[Jffsieg]

So what does everyone think of the mission so far?

did you guys like the music?

did you guys like the cutscenes?

[penfolde]

HI

Like the cut seen but theres no sound through most on the intro,  Not yet complete it but its good.
The only critizems is the boat fluffs about abit on landing.

Penfolde

[Jffsieg]

Ya, I made it no sound in the begining becuase i was planning on adding voices in it, but decided not to so as the dl file wouldn't exceed 10 mb. 

I wanted alot of people to be able to play it so i tried to keep it smaller.

Also I couldn't figure out why the stupid boat wouldn't take you to the beach all the way.

[rhysduk]

Briefing:

A good, short, to the point briefing. You havent overdone it, which is good.
Notes are good.
There is no weapon selection, but as there is an ammo crate, not really neccessary.
You have a few spelling/grammar mistakes that need ironing out.

Intro:

The text is slightly too fast to read in parts. Consider slowign it down.
Capital letters are not present in most sentences.
"HOW MANY ENEMY"  Needs a question mark.

Ill comment on the rest of it a bit later. 

From what ive played of the mission so far, you're doing well 

Rhys

[mathias_eichinger]

Oops, still no complete review here? Well that's where I come in. 

Overview

Sorry to say that, but it's messed up. The picture is grainy and out of scale (elements of "mission by" are readable).
I suggest you simply put in a smaller picture and the text should not be part of the picture, then it would be great - just grab a random overview from someone else and see how it is done. 

Intro

I am really blown away by it. The overview screams "first mission" while the intro is polished like few others. The camerawork is exact and the music is great. It would be even greater if you could manage to slow the text down a bit. There are some typos in it that I don't remember, because I had to read so fast.

Briefing

The map is clear, you have some missing spaces between text and hyperlinks. Also, I am missing the code word for the helicopter (at this point I assumed that it would appear automatically).

Mission

The music at the boat trip is a bit low-quality (some background noise). Could you get a clearer version of this otherwise great soundtrack?
I like the weapons selection that is offered via the ammobox. Then after the ammobox I move towards the objective and further good music starts. I must admit that I did not like that. Don't get me wrong, the piece of music is well chosen. But I simply want to hear my enemies - it's a matter of taste, however. Some players will be with me here, others would like the Hollywood-like bravado.
The enemies in the settlement are well placed, and the quards at the campfire manage to kill me.

Second retry with an M4/M203 combo - I happily lob a grenade over the wall only to discover that I killed the wrong guys - the pilots.
This is when I noticed a bug: The objectives are ticked off nevertheless. You need a trigger that sets the objStatus to "FAILED" once the pilots are dead.
Now the T72 roars towards the objective and I barely manage to run away (and lose my squadmates), very good atmosphere here. At the extraction point I wait for the helo but it would not come...oh, I have to call it via radio (this should be mentioned in the briefing).

Outro

Camerawork and music are perfect. I just don't get the conversation - they are promised a leave and a few seconds sent on another mission?

Conclusions

I might sound too negative, so I want to mention that this mission has excellent atmosphere and some well playable fast-paced action (mind the tank). It just needs a bit of polishing to make it very good.

Suggestions
*Check spelling in your intro (and probably outro)
*Improve the quality of the music during the boat ride
*Make a proper Overview
*Remove the music at the objective
*Polish the briefing (missing spaces, info about the helo evac codeword)
*Insert a trigger that fails the objectives once the pilots are dead
*Add a few lines of conversation between the player and the evac helo

Keep up the good work!

Cheers

Mathias
 

[mathias_eichinger]

I will review this one.

[mathias_eichinger]

Review completed.

This is now open for post-review discussion.

Cheers,

Mathias