Right, here we go. I haven't read any of the thread at all so forgive me if I say something stupid. Glad to see you have updated the first post with the new version as well as posting it at the end of the thread. :thumbsup:
Vet mode, no mods.
ReadmeNice to see my campaign for named readmes is bearing fruit. Hmmm, it seems I have tested this before ... shit for brains, that's my problem. Add the date, otherwise its grand.
OverviewGood. Version number is correct in a beta but lose it for the release. It should go in the readme and the filename.
IntroI remember this! Good. Minor points only. At the start, fade the text in faster and leave it up for slightly longer. Some non-native speakers, and indeed some some native English speakers, will struggle to read it. The rule of thumb I use is that you should be able to read it twice.
When the text appears at the bottom of the screen, consider making it slightly smaller. Don't refer to "weeks", use days. "8 days ago". Don't have a blackout with text between the base and the ships, go straight to the ships and put the text beneath them. If it is not too much work, change the term "invasion force" to "advanced landing force" or some other name that implies there will be follow up forces. You don't invade Everon with 3 squads, and if you do you don't need 3 LSDs to carry them.
BriefingPlan - good
Notes - good. Separate the paras with a line. Perhaps add a third para making it more personal.
Gear - give the player his tokarev by default and add a couple of pairs of binocs since some players like them. Dish out more of the PKs and rocket launchers, there's no point in leaving them in selection. I took an RPG and put PKs at 2, 3 and 4. Remove the AK74SU, it's pointless.
Squad - I'd put the medic at about 7 since the squad is large. Otherwise good.
Map - good.
Overall, very good so far. Everything I've mentioned has been detail. You can really tell that this mission has already been beta tested and the author has taken note of the suggestions.
MissionIt's often a good idea to start radio messages with an indentifier. "(Spetz Natz) Good luck ...." Better, since you have only a couple of radio messages, hunt around the Ed Depot and find I think its toadlife's tute on how to use the few callsigns that BIS gave us.
Moved up the gully then left towards the corner of the road. On enemy loon spotted us and dropped 12 before he was shot ... I'd had everybody on hold fire but he just appeared on the skyline 20 years in front of us. Moved up onto the hillside and dropped one then another, but the second had seen us and the alarm - which was excellent - went off. We were in trees so I just stayed put and waited for the response. A small squad came up from the base and we gave them the good news.
Two more squads - front left and front right - went the same way then the armour came up our jacksi. The T55 went down at once but the M113 survived and took out half the squad before I could get there. The surrender option appeared in my Action menu.
My MG loons are firing at the M2 I think. This is a problem and it must be solved: I believe the answer is to use an empty M2 and move the gunner into it. If that doesn't work then use a trigger to detect when the gunner is dead and blow the gun up. I had to put a precious RPG into it but not before my loons had wasted most of their ammo.
Hit the surrender action to test. Got several very similar shots of me with my hands behind my head but not much else. :-\ Use a hidden Objective which appears failed when you get the loose ending. It's very easy. Read snYpir's tute on "how to use objectives and init.sqs".
Back to the mission.
We get taken from behind by I think two squads. Two of my four loons have no ammo at all and there isn't time to rearm, so we are screwed. I tried running away but we were picked off from the base. The M2 debacle (which is partly my fault for not stopping them sooner, but at the time I was dealing with the remnants of the armoured infantry attack at the back and didn't know what theywer shooting at) has proved terminal. Back to the start.
OutroLoose - fine. There are too many tents for 4 prisoners.
ThreadAt this point I'll skim through the thread.
If you want to annoy macguba you could use Scotland.
;D I haven't seen what you used yet. Actually that's a good point, rather than playing this again I'll have a look in the editor.
You've had a helluva lot of good advice here. I hope you are spending lots of time testing other missions.

This mission would be a good start to a campaign.
Never, ever make a mission which is "capture the base and wait for hte counterattack." Either is fine - its a military game so most missions are going to be either attack somewhere or defend somewhere - but we are all utterly sick to death of that particular sequence.
Re-read the whole thread again carefully and make sure you haven't missed anything.
Mission EditorJust a few idle comments of things that catch my eye.
Add comments to your scripts. At least a line at the top saying what it does and how it is called. You'll thank me in a year's time.
Like the flag.
You don't really need that many waypoints for the patrol on the dirt road.
Given that you already have something there, add one or two more objects to the outlying villages. An empty vehicle or two; ammo crates and barrels; the odd tent. Keep it very simple obviously, but just a few more things will give the place a much better feel.
I'm very unconvinced by the base. Add a second med tent next to the first. Place yourself in the middle of the base as a group leader and use command view: you will see that the sandbags are on the wrong side of the entrance. (Look where the road ends.) Either make them along the line of the wall, or make them stick out more - the current middle ground is unsatisfactory. Consider putting the M2 in a small shed. Move the H away from the hillside and nearer the road. Try the flagpole in the middle of the square.
The guards are very badly placed. They are all just standing around looking stupid. Is this place on a kind of dawn stand-to, or is everybody just waking up? Or still asleep? It should be obvious.
Put in a delay of maybe 30s between alarm sounding and the groups coming out of the buildings. Will help build tension and might catch the player out.
There are two patrols around EntreDeux which get guard waypoints. What hosed me was that both of these arrived at the same time from the same direction. Separate them in some way either in space or time. That will make the mission both slightly harder (in general) and slightly more fun. Perhaps the second comes later, is larger and more poorly armed and includes civvies: it really is militia called out of bed.
Win Outro. Fine apart from the second shot which is dreadful. Suggest keep first shot, moving in, then keep the camera stationery and pan back and forth showing armour and choppers. Using camera.sqs will make these changes painless. Make the arrangement of guards and sandbags noticeably more professional than it was before: a real army has arrived.
Well that's it for now. It's going to be very good for a first mission.