Played version 0.9Overview
Great image, looks like you put some thought into that one but I think it would represent the image more if you placed an in game image as the background and made the brush strokes thinner to allow some of that image to show through. BUT
, though this is not the type of image that I would prefer to see in my mission list to describe the mission, some folks may like it and at least it has the mission details on the flip page. If your intention is to make this the overview for a campaign, I suppose it works perfectly then. I also liked OP_Spark1 better.
Text correction below...
A group of highly trained specialists, lead by Capt.Ghost, is tasked to destroy the AA Vehicles in an enemy camp, which have been shooting down many of our aircraft.
By the way, AAV is an acronym used by the U.S. military to refer to an Amphibious Assault Vehicle not anti air.
US Marines have been facing difficultly on receiving reinforcements via air. The Soviet Union has setup several Anti-Air assets(AA) at key locations. For this purpose, the U.S. are sending their best men to silently disable those AA units. Multiple Operations will begin in the coming weeks, "Operation Spark" is one of them. Capt. Ghost, Sgt. Ice Man and Corp. Stalker are tasked in this Operation.NOTES
The way that this section is written, it shouldn't be in script as personal hand written letters but rather print since you have links and intelligence that's addressed to the whole group in briefing form.
Corrected text below...
You'll start here and be extracted by air at these coordinates. This will be confirmed by HQ on radio.
SPARKER TWO BACKGROUND
A squad consisting of highly trained Black Ops, with an avg. of 10 yrs of experience. The team has received noticeably high amount of medals for their outstanding performance during the Soviet invasion on Malden.
Find and destroy all the AA assets located inside the soviet camp, code-named Sparkling Center 52.
All of the tips you offer are things that most people who play the game already know. If you still want to include them, place them in the readme document.
You could provide a tip on the different types of radio options you offer the player in game and what each does, similar to the toggle tips you have now.
Mention the Day/Night option.
Mention the Make it easier option
Mention the AI chase option
Mention the fog option
Mention the random weather optionMission
I noticed in your init that you have this code.
"HDjeep" setMarkerPos [0,0]
Instead of setting it in the lower left corner of the map, just make it an empty marker in the editor and then set its marker type when ready..
"HDjeep" setMarkerType "DOT"
The mission starts with so many hints that have so much text, that it breaks the mood. The warning that stops the clock belongs in the README or in the beta thread, not in the mission.
The title was great.
The hint informing the player of where the enemy camp was, is not needed. People can figure these things out on their own.
You then throw another hint up about the fog and weather. Not needed.
The sidechat from HQ
RECEIVED AND UNDERSTOOD, PROCEED WITH YOUR OBJECTIVE, YOU WILL BE EXTRACTED BY A BLACK HAWK AT THESE COORDS, OUT
What coordinates? There is no need to mention it anyway since the player should know the evac plan from the briefing.
We move in, find those goddamn AAVs, put some satchals on them, and blow them up from a safe distance.
Misspelled satchels here.
You should also use upper case letters to start each line.
No offense but the side chatter between the operators seems unprofessional; almost as if they have never worked together before.
At mission start, I hear an explosion. I had no idea what it was until I get to the evac and the chopper is destroyed and the pilot standing outside of it. I notice you have the Special set to FLY in sqm and the pilot is not in it. That's what caused the crash.
The hint that I have been detected ruins the mood.
The follow up hint that informs me to go toe to toe with the enemy if need be is also not needed and ruins the mood.
My first play through, I was cautious. I only picked off guys if the situation called for it. I was able to plant the first satchel and circle west around the city. I took out the MG nest with no consequence. I also took out another lone patrol man with no consequence(However, I did hide his
body). I made my way to the other side and was somehow spotted though I did not see anyone or see how they could have seen me. I went ahead and began popping targets as I spotted them, planted the other satchel and circled north around the city again, avoiding the second bmp that arrived, and the other infantry group that had arrived and was now circling the base in safe mode. I get far enough away to allow me to blow both charges and immediately get hit with another unnecessary hint.
BTW, I spotted a chair about 20 meters in the air above the tent behind the southern shilka.
My second play through, I went in as true Black Operators do; kill anything that stands between my muzzle and the package. I planted the first charge and took out all foot mobiles quickly, using the rpg I grabbed off of an outer patrol, I took out the responding ural before they could unload. I grabbed another RPG and blew the first shilka while blasting the second with the tube. Grabbed 2 more rpg's and finished the BMP's off. The place was quiet and dark and I walked into the fog like Batman.
I honestly thought that with all the trouble you went through to script detection triggers, that it would be much more difficult. I was actually looking forward to the challenge.
You're killing me with all the hints. Keep the communication between author and player out of the mission area. That particular radio chatter between operators belongs in an Intro, in an helicopter ride or something. Not on the ground fifty meters from enemy patrols.
The jeep offer for a ride was also not needed as the evac was only a short run away. (How did they know about it in the briefing anyways?)
Nevertheless, there is still potential here and I can't wait to see you improve it. Fix the ending and you'll have a non bugged mission. Fix some of the other things and you'll improve it.
Hope I don't sound too harsh.